Soman Dhillon explores the reality of mom guilt, the myth of the “perfect mom,” and how self-compassion can begin to ease the pressure so many mothers feel.
“Mom guilt.” Those two words carry so much weight, the invisible load that so many mothers carry but rarely talk about. It’s that sinking feeling when you’re torn between responsibilities, the constant questioning of whether you’re doing enough, and the quiet ache of feeling like you’re failing no matter how hard you try.
In today’s world, moms are expected to do it all, to work like we don’t have children, and parent like we don’t have jobs. We’re told to balance everything gracefully, to be patient, nurturing, successful, and endlessly available. But the truth is, there is no perfect balance; only shifting priorities and imperfect days.
The Inner Tug-of-War
There are times when I give 100% to my work, supporting clients, showing up for others, and doing what I love. Yet in those moments, I often feel like I’m failing as a mom because I might miss bedtime or not be there for every moment.
Then, when I pour all my energy into motherhood, being fully present with my children, attending to their needs, and creating special moments, I find myself falling short somewhere else. Maybe as a wife, a friend, or even in my own self-care.
For a long time, I saw this as failure. But I’m learning that it’s not.
It’s just being human.
The Myth of the “Perfect Mom”
Somewhere along the way, we’ve been sold this idea that a good mom does it all, that she’s endlessly patient, never tired, always joyful, and completely selfless. But that image doesn’t exist in real life.
Motherhood is messy, beautiful, and exhausting all at once. It’s okay to feel frustrated, to crave space, or to admit that you can’t do everything perfectly.
You can love your children with your whole heart and still feel overwhelmed.
You can need a break and still be a wonderful mom.
Finding Compassion in the Chaos
What I’ve realized is that guilt often comes from love, from caring so deeply about our children and wanting to give them the best. But love and guilt don’t have to go hand in hand.
When I’m with my children now, I try to focus on being truly present. No phone, no distractions, just me at their level, connecting in those small, meaningful ways. I can’t promise perfection, but I can promise love. I can promise to nurture them with my whole heart, even when life feels chaotic.
A Gentle Reminder for Every Mom
You are not failing.
You are doing your best in a world that constantly asks too much.
Your presence, your love, and your intention matter more than the perfectly balanced schedule or spotless home.
So, take a breath. Offer yourself the same compassion you give everyone else.
Motherhood isn’t about doing it all, it’s about loving deeply, showing up authentically, and forgiving yourself on the hard days.
If these words feel familiar, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to carry this weight by yourself. Book a session with Soman to gently unpack mom guilt, reconnect with yourself, and receive support that honors both who you are and the mother you’re becoming.